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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Database Administrator jobs? · Latest report #yde5ctd7
Your job has an expiration date
April 16, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYou spend your life guarding data from people who hate SQL.
Master of indexes, servant to the slow query log.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The last DBA you will ever need.
glub.youAI▸ DATAKEEPER-X PRO▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes queries during your coffee break
Maintaining server uptime and writing complex queries to save broken tables. You babysit indexes and perform backups daily.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the production database crashed at 3 a.m. on Sunday.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
An agent suggests indexes so you do not have to think.
Month 5
The cloud provider takes over manual backup and patching tasks.
Month 10
Databases automatically rebalance data without human intervention.
Month 15
Security software blocks access attempts before you even see them.
Month 18 · D-Day
The system runs itself perfectly while you pack your desk.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.1%
4 cups
Coffee consumed hourly
too many
Tables accidentally dropped
99.999
Uptime percentage
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a cloud instance.
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