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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Database Consultant jobs? · Latest report #kpaqjjiy
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou spend all day indexing tables that no one actually queries.
Optimizer of queries that users don't even know exist.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Self-healing architecture for the modern stack.
glub.youAI▸ SCHEMAVOID V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates index rebalancing on the fly
You design schemas, optimize slow queries, and manage database migrations. You maintain indexes and ensure data integrity.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why a specific legacy query makes sense to your coworkers.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart agents identify your slowest queries and suggest immediate index changes.
Month 5
Generative models draft your next database schema from basic API requirements.
Month 10
Automated pipelines execute migrations and rollback instantly if tests fail.
Month 15
Continuous monitoring loops optimize buffer pools and storage allocation autonomously.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system assumes full ownership of the data stack forever.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
0.00ms
Average query latency
42%
Human error rate
Indefinite
Migration downtime
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our stack-overflow archives.
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