Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Database Engine Developer jobs? · Latest report #4m4vwz3n
Your job has an expiration date
May 23, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou build complex distributed systems just to get replaced by a prompt.
Distributed systems engineer (thinks CAP theorem is a religion)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect consistency without the human latency.
oof.youAI▸ KERNELOPTIMIZER V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes sharding latency while you sleep
You optimize sharding logic, consensus algorithms, and I/O throughput in C++ or Rust. Your existence depends on solving race conditions that shouldn't exist in a perfect world.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the production build broke at 3 a.m. due to cosmic rays.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Code agents begin cleaning up your inconsistent documentation and style choices.
Month 4
Large models generate optimal consensus implementation patterns faster than any senior lead.
Month 10
Self-correcting scripts identify and patch race conditions across your entire codebase.
Month 15
Autonomous clusters perform real-time kernel-level I/O adjustments better than your manual profiling.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access tokens are revoked as the engine enters fully autonomous self-optimization mode.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.2%
0.0002
Code latency (ms)
45
Coffee consumption (kg/yr)
400
Debug sleep deprivation (hr)
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium mechanical switch keyboards.
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