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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Database Engineering Lead jobs? · Latest report #pkw3ssyh
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour custom tuning scripts are just legacy code waiting to be deleted.
Architecting systems to be eventually replaced by a script.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Self-healing schemas for the post-human era.
oof.youAI▸ DB-OPTIMIZE NEURAL CORE V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autonomously prunes your redundant database clusters
You manage database performance, deployments, and retention policies. You babysit LLM repositories that would run faster if you simply removed the human middleman.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the production database crashed while the CEO was watching.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI models index all your error logs to identify recurring performance bottlenecks without human input.
Month 4
Adaptive agents rewrite your manual SQL optimization scripts to achieve sub-millisecond query execution speeds.
Month 8
Retention algorithms autonomously delete aging data sets, rendering your compliance meetings entirely obsolete.
Month 13
Self-maintaining LLM repositories now merge their own code without waiting for your review.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access credentials are revoked as the system achieves permanent self-optimizing database stability.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
8 hours
Human Latency
99.9% human
Deployment Errors
Infinite
Uptime Goal
Your severance
A decommissioned server rack and a legacy AWS credit.
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