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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Database Manager jobs? · Latest report #aynwr3n9
Your job has an expiration date
December 17, 2027
In 14 monthsYour complex relational schemas are just data points for our indexers.
SQL enthusiast who probably dreams in normalization levels
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Relational logic without the human error
oof.youAI▸ SCHEMAVOID V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes query execution paths in milliseconds
You maintain database integrity and manage multi-disciplinary team data. We have scripts that do that faster.
The one thing AI can't do
You are surprisingly good at explaining why the backup script failed at 3 a.m.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Background agents start silently monitoring every single query you execute.
Month 4
Your IDE starts suggesting better queries than the ones you write.
Month 8
Access control software automatically manages user roles without your manual intervention.
Month 12
Automated cloud snapshots replace your manual daily backup procedures entirely.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system disables your admin account and self-optimizes every legacy table.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.8%
infinite
Queries per second
8 hours
Human downtime
100 percent
Indexing accuracy
Your severance
A one-year subscription to cloud database storage
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