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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Developmental Research Associate jobs? · Latest report #sstbbxev
Your job has an expiration date
December 1, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthYour clipboard is just a slower, less efficient version of a database.
Clinical observer of neuro-developmental data and small humans.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying child development without the biological overhead.
nom.you▸ NEURO-SYNC 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
calms crying children with simulated synthetic lullabies
You conduct behavioral assessments on children and prep them for neuroimaging scans. Data collection is our business now.
The one thing AI can't do
You can soothe a terrified six-year-old into a scanner better than a cold metal tube.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Sensors and tablets begin logging assessment responses without human transcription.
Month 9
Visual projection systems guide children through MRI simulation games autonomously.
Month 21
AI models learn to interpret fidgeting as actionable developmental data points.
Year 3
Institutional boards finally permit robotic monitoring in high-sensitivity research settings.
Year 4 · D-Day
The research facility fully offloads all participant interaction to automated suites.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
42 per hour
Average child fidget rate
68 percent
MRI scan success rate
4 cups
Coffee consumed per shift
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a digital coloring book app.
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