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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Digital Analyst jobs? · Latest report #6uih8xbc
Your job has an expiration date
December 9, 2027
In 14 monthsYour dashboard obsession is just waiting for a faster, colder brain.
Professional translator of vanity metrics into corporate fiction.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated narrative generation for every pixel click.
splat.you▸ INSIGHTSYNTH-9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autogenerates executive reports during your lunch break
You interpret website metrics to optimize user flows and campaign performance. You turn raw logs into slide-deck narratives.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sometimes guess which stakeholder is about to ignore the data anyway.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Scripted pipelines replace your manual spreadsheet cleanup of raw logs.
Month 4
Models identify churn patterns faster than you can open Excel.
Month 8
AI agent builds the presentation slides directly from the data.
Month 12
Bots answer all questions about traffic directly in Slack.
Month 14 · D-Day
Your access tokens are revoked as the dashboard runs itself.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
22 weekly
Hours spent cleaning messy tracking data
94 percent
Slides built with zero real impact
15 minutes
Average time to explain a null value
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to your own defunct dashboard.
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