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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Disney VIP Tour Guide jobs? · Latest report #h2yewhph
Your job has an expiration date
March 15, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsYour smile is a scripted asset, and assets are now fully depreciated.
Expert at masking deep exhaustion behind a plastic grin.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimised whimsy without the hourly bathroom break.
squeeze.youAI▸ MAGICPATH SYNC-BOT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects perfect facade onto queue walls
You walk families through parks while managing complex line-skipping logistics and delivering rehearsed, high-energy park lore.
The one thing AI can't do
You can genuinely pretend to enjoy a stranger's child screaming in your face.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
All park history is indexed into a local, high-speed audio server.
Month 6
Smart-gate sensors replace the need for physical tour guidance.
Month 15
Cameras learn to mimic your specific wave and pointing technique.
Year 2.2
Self-driving carts handle the physical transport of exhausted tourist groups.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
The AI assumes control of all guest narrative and navigation.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92.5%
98 percent
Average forced enthusiasm
22,000 steps
Steps walked per shift
zero impact
Wait time reduction
Your severance
A lifetime supply of expired fast-pass lanyards.
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