Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Disneyland Attraction Host jobs? · Latest report #7ssu86hr
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYou are just a human gatekeeper for a ride that works anyway.
Professional line-manager and amateur spiel-reciter.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing guest flow without the awkward small talk.
ow.youAI▸ MAGICGATE OPS-V4▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
mutes microphones during guest meltdowns
You cycle ride vehicles, monitor guest safety queues, and recite scripted spiel lines to bored crowds.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a tantrum starts before the parent even notices.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors replace your manual pass scanning with contactless check-ins.
Month 10
Pre-recorded audio replaces your repetitive voice on the ride loop.
Year 1.9
Vision models detect ride capacity and trigger automatic dispatch sequences.
Year 3
Camera grids flag guest movement in restricted zones for response.
Year 4 · D-Day
The ride operates autonomously while you are permanently reallocated elsewhere.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.7%
12,000
Average spiel words per day
4
Seconds until guest eye-roll
0
Safety checks missed daily
Your severance
One free churro voucher and a generic thank-you note.
Discussion
