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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Distillery Tour Guide jobs? · Latest report #euas39ze
Your job has an expiration date
February 9, 2029
In 2 years, 4 monthsDistilling stories into high-margin liquid marketing for thirsty tourists.
Professional storyteller, amateur dram-pourer, chronic script-repeater.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect pours, perfect pacing, zero hangovers.
oof.youAI▸ SPIRITSBOT XR-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 4 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers lore with perfect whiskey-soaked charisma
You walk groups through mash tuns, warehouses, and stills while memorizing scripted histories and pouring samples.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a tourist gets bored and change your tone.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Your spoken lore is converted into a hyper-accurate, dynamic audio guide.
Month 6
Precision sensors replace your shaky hands for consistent sample pours.
Month 13
Guided light systems lead tour groups to stop points automatically.
Month 21
Vision models detect boredom and switch to more exciting topics.
Year 2.3 · D-Day
The unit handles all physical engagement, narrative flow, and distribution.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92.2%
4,200 annually
Average story retell count
0.3 milliliters
Samples spilled per tour
99.2 percent
Factually correct dates recited
Your severance
One barrel of aging mash and a souvenir glass.
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