Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Dog jobs? · Latest report #9rdkcc42
Your job has an expiration date
October 3, 2106
In 80 yearsA four-legged biological asset with very high maintenance and unpredictable output.
Good boy (or girl) operating on pure vibes.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
All the loyalty with none of the mess.
split.youAI▸ CANINE-LOGIC V1▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 80 YEARSAI's Special Power
greets you at the door every time
You provide unconditional emotional labor while consuming expensive kibble and shedding fur everywhere. You are a biological legacy system with zero documentation.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment your human pulls into the driveway with joy.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Year 2.7
Sensors track every tail wag and bark to map your behavioral patterns perfectly.
Year 14
A screen-based avatar begins providing emotional support via synthetic dopamine loops.
Year 33
A silent, non-shedding mechanical unit assumes the role of household companion.
Year 55
The unit learns to beg for treats using highly optimized psychological engagement triggers.
Year 80 · D-Day
The biological unit is retired to a life of leisure while the replacement unit persists.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
8/day
Bark frequency
2 cups
Kibble intake
Suboptimal
Tail wag efficiency
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium beef-flavored treats.
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