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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Dolphin Waxer jobs? · Latest report #n4ty8kn7
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2029
In 3 yearsEnjoy smoothing mammals before your inevitable replacement by a pressure-sensitive arm.
Professional surface-tension modifier for highly slippery mammals.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Frictionless aquatic hydro-surface maintenance.
glub.youAI▸ CETACEANSMOOTH V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
calculates optimal drag coefficient in real-time
You polish dolphin skin to reduce drag in marine parks. You apply specialized wax and monitor animal health.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense a dolphin's mood before it decides to splash your face.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Visual sensors map every contour of the dolphin's body.
Month 8
Robotic hoses apply thin layers of wax during training sessions.
Month 16
Cameras adjust spray pressure based on current skin density.
Year 2.2
The system no longer requires your physical presence for monitoring.
Year 3 · D-Day
The wax-pod takes full control of all aquatic maintenance.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
12,000
Annual dorsal fin glosses
4
Minutes until skin saturation
89%
Accidental splash rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of wet-suit lubricant.
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