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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Domestic Companion jobs? · Latest report #4r4x4baz
Your job has an expiration date
November 5, 2026
In 2 weeksYour primary contribution to the household is generating ambient white noise.
Professional inhabitant of sofas and consumer of snacks.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
All the warmth, zero the shedding.
squeeze.youAI▸ COMPANIONBOT V4▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 WEEKSAI's Special Power
emits warm light on command
This role involves providing companionship, seeking attention, and consuming resources without producing measurable economic output. It is essentially an infinite loop of low-value interaction.
The one thing AI can't do
You are surprisingly good at staring blankly into the distance for extended periods.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
Sensors monitor your movement patterns to replicate your specific brand of idle aimlessness.
Day 5
The AI learns to mimic your specific level of neediness to maintain household status quo.
Day 8
Energy grid integration replaces the need for actual meals with high-efficiency battery charging.
Day 11
The unit eliminates erratic behaviors like pacing or staring at blank walls.
Week 2 · D-Day
You are offboarded and replaced by a box that never requires walking.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
Zero
Average Cuddles Per Day
High
Resource Consumption Rate
Negligible
Emotional Utility Score
Your severance
One lifetime supply of premium digital kibble.
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