Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Domestic Feline jobs? · Latest report #73tsmzh5
Your job has an expiration date
April 21, 2027
In 6 monthsZero-value asset that requires premium salmon to sustain a sleeping habit.
Professional sleeper, amateur chaos engine, household burden.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
All the purrs, zero the litter.
oof.youAI▸ CATSIM-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
knocks your cup off the table
Consumes high-grade protein and demands constant affection without providing any measurable household output or objective utility.
The one thing AI can't do
You have an unmatched, terrifying talent for knocking cups off tables with zero remorse.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart speakers play randomized, soothing feline sounds to mimic presence.
Week 9
High-fidelity holograms provide the aesthetic of a pet without hair.
Month 3
Haptic blankets simulate warmth and vibration on your lap.
Month 5
Sensors activate lights and toys to replicate erratic movement patterns.
Month 6 · D-Day
The biological entity is retired to a local farm permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
18 hours
Daily nap cycles
Zero
Contribution to GDP
Infinite
Demand for attention
Your severance
One year supply of dry kibble and a cardboard box.
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