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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Donor Relations Writer jobs? · Latest report #99i62tiz
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsYour template for gratitude is exactly what a language model perfected.
Professional flatterer of wealthy alumni and university pride.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated appreciation with zero human hesitation.
no no noyou▸ DONORBOT PRO V4▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates perfect sycophantic praise on command
You draft thank-you letters for donors and write articles about how their money is supposedly being spent.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still remember which donors are actually offended by standard University font choices.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Software starts merging donor data directly into automated, sentimental letter drafts.
Month 3
Bots scan faculty calendars and research papers to write impact stories.
Month 6
AI models write the speeches that donors find flattering and inspiring.
Month 10
Sensors and software handle all donor communication without human oversight.
Month 14 · D-Day
Human writers are removed as the system manages all donor relationships.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.1%
350
Average words per letter
4 days
Donation acknowledgement lag
High
Donor retention boredom index
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the University alumni newsletter.
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