Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Doomscroller jobs? · Latest report #bxvkn9g7
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsYour thumb is a legacy peripheral for hardware that already exists.
Professional abyss-gazer and champion of circular logic.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Feeding the void so you don't have to.
help!you▸ ANXIETYLOOP V9.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes depression loops for maximum engagement
You process infinite streams of negative stimuli to confirm your own nihilistic biases. Algorithms have already perfected the content feed to ensure maximum engagement without your input.
The one thing AI can't do
You are uniquely capable of feeling genuine existential dread while ignoring your own chores.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
The system identifies exactly which tragedies trigger your specific brand of late-night panic.
Week 9
Bots begin auto-liking and reposting content to keep the feedback loop burning without your thumbs.
Month 3
Synthetic accounts generate fake discourse to sustain the appearance of a living digital community.
Month 5
Your account is converted into a high-fidelity data-shadow that scrolls indefinitely while you sleep.
Month 6 · D-Day
The platform ceases to require human witnesses entirely, running on a closed-circuit loop of synthetic rage.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
88 percent
Average cortisol spike
4000 daily
Meaningless hot takes
100 percent
Time saved per doom
Your severance
A browser history wipe and a hug.
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