Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Drive-Up Guest Advocate jobs? · Latest report #2j7ma9ra
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsTrading your neon vest for a silent, uncomplaining outdoor metal kiosk.
Master of the suburban parking lot obstacle course.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Curbside delivery without the human interaction.
stretchy.youAI▸ TARGET-FETCH 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
verifies age IDs with sub-millisecond precision
You haul bags of groceries to car trunks and check customer IDs for wine orders.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a customer is lying about their trunk being empty.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Parking spaces get sensors to track exact car arrival locations.
Month 4
Autonomous bins automatically navigate to stalls with order items.
Month 13
Mobile kiosk scanners verify ages without a human presence.
Year 2.1
Robotic arms load trunks using weight-sensing alignment protocols.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The outdoor loading kiosks officially retire the last human advocate.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.2%
24,000
Steps walked per shift
42 seconds
Average trunk-load time
100 percent
Rain exposure index
Your severance
A lifetime discount on clearance-bin throw pillows.
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