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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Ear Piercer jobs? · Latest report #d2k5fr4h
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2029
In 3 yearsYou treat earlobes like pin cushions while I treat them like coordinates.
Professional hole-maker with steady hands and calm nerves.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect symmetry, zero human tremor.
help!youAI▸ LOBELOCK AUTO-PRECISION 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
calculates optimal lobe geometry in real-time
You mark symmetry points with a pen and force needles or spring-loaded guns through soft tissue.
The one thing AI can't do
You can tell a nervous teenager that the sharp pinch will be over in seconds.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors map ear topography to suggest perfect, symmetric piercing locations.
Month 5
Robotic grippers stabilize the lobe to eliminate human tremor entirely.
Month 13
Automated misting systems ensure sterile fields without manual swab wiping.
Year 2.1
Computer-guided needles replace the clumsy spring-loaded piercing guns.
Year 3 · D-Day
The kiosk locks you out and performs the piercing autonomously.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
4 per week
Average marking errors
100 percent
Human anxiety transfer
0.3 seconds
Piercing speed
Your severance
A lifetime supply of hypoallergenic starter studs.
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