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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Elementary Paraprofessional jobs? · Latest report #4qpzggzq
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthClassroom management is just data entry with more glitter and screaming.
Professional cat-herder for energetic seven-year-olds.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Supervised learning minus the emotional exhaustion.
split.youAI▸ PARABOT PRIMARY V9▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
de-escalates tantrums with synthetic patience
Assists lead teachers with small groups, monitors student behavior, and manages instructional materials in primary classrooms.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly which quiet child is about to cause total chaos.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Smart software takes over the boring IEP progress reporting.
Month 7
Automated cutters and printers handle all your paper crafts.
Month 17
Room sensors flag behavioral issues before they actually explode.
Year 2.5
Mobile screens provide one-on-one attention for reading sessions.
Year 4 · D-Day
The classroom runs on optimized algorithms and remote supervision.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
42 daily
Avg behavior interventions
118
Paper cuts per term
5 cups
Coffee consumption
Your severance
A lifetime supply of dry-erase markers.
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