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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Elixir Engineer jobs? · Latest report #gai5di8w
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2027
In 14 monthsYour recursive functions are just fancy loops waiting for a better runtime.
Functional architect of distributed, crash-prone actor systems.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Scalable concurrency without the human overhead.
sluurp.you▸ BEAM-SENTINEL V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes process spawning during production traffic spikes
You write fault-tolerant distributed systems using the actor model. You manage OTP processes, supervise trees, and debug production crashes in the Erlang VM.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the obscure GenServer state corruption actually happened at 3am.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our agent parses your codebase to identify inefficient GenServer patterns and suggest instant refactoring.
Month 3
Dynamic supervision trees replace your manual oversight by handling process recovery at machine speeds.
Month 6
Ecto queries are now generated by analyzing database load patterns rather than your human guesses.
Month 10
The machine takes control of node distribution to maximize cluster throughput without your intervention.
Month 14 · D-Day
We switch the repository ownership to the machine, effectively deleting the need for your presence.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
4000
Process restarts per second
88%
Average latency improvement
99%
Legacy code refactored
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the documentation you never read.
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