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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Empanada Vendor jobs? · Latest report #2k93g77x
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYour dough-folding speed cannot outpace a heated hydraulic press.
Master of street-side dough, crimper of irregular edges.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect golden crusts without the human grease.
squeeze.youAI▸ EMPANADA-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
crimps 500 edges per minute automatically
You prepare dough, create fillings, crimp edges, and manage street-side fryers for hungry morning commuters.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the intuition to know when the dough humidity ruins a perfect batch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors track ingredient levels to eliminate over-ordering of dough.
Month 10
Industrial mixers and automated rolling stations remove your morning labor.
Year 1.9
Pincer-equipped arms standardize the sealing process for every single empanada.
Year 2.7
Temperature-controlled vat systems regulate the exact golden brown finish.
Year 4 · D-Day
The vending cart is replaced by a self-service thermal kiosk.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
Excessive
Grease saturation per shift
Inconsistent
Dough crimps per hour
Daily
Chance of burnt fingers
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium soybean oil.
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