Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Enrollment Operations Specialist jobs? · Latest report #989up5tg
Your job has an expiration date
August 30, 2027
In 10 monthsYou are just a human interface for a database of prospective students.
Human interface layer between CRM and actual reality.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating your admissions cycle, one query at a time.
split.you▸ SLATESYNAPSE V4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
executes batch mass-comms while you sleep
You automate student admissions funnels using Slate. Your existence is basically a glorified SQL query waiting for a better algorithm.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sometimes guess which internal office stakeholder is lying about their data requirements.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our AI ingests your entire query library to identify redundant logic and inefficient data paths.
Week 9
Mass communications are migrated to self-optimizing pipelines that ignore your manual scheduling habits.
Month 5
Computer vision models rewrite your enrollment forms to maximize conversion without your input.
Month 8
The AI runs the CRM in the background, outperforming your manual input speeds by 400x.
Month 10 · D-Day
Your access tokens are revoked as the system concludes your presence is a data bottleneck.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.9%
99,999
Queries per minute
12%
Human error rate
Zero
Admissions joy
Your severance
One free SQL course and a subscription to sadness.
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