Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Entertainment Journalist jobs? · Latest report #2ae6s4p3
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsYour hot takes on celebrity breakups are just data for our models.
Professional synonym-swapper and press-release regurgitator
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating synthetic discourse for engagement
ow.youAI▸ CLICKSYNTH PRO 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
aggregates viral trends without asking questions
You summarize press releases, attend junkets for free coffee, and pad word counts. We do it instantly.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still fake genuine enthusiasm for a director's terrible new movie.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Bots begin indexing every celebrity interview ever published online.
Month 3
Language models start generating copy directly from studio press kits.
Month 6
Algorithms detect what audiences want to read before you write it.
Month 10
Synthetic accounts generate all the discourse beneath the automated articles.
Month 14 · D-Day
The editorial cms account is disabled for all human personnel.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
800
Average words per hour
5 cups
Coffee consumed per day
0.02%
Meaningful interviews transcribed
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our sentiment analysis suite
Discussion
