Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Epic Beaker Application Analyst jobs? · Latest report #3imr5fzs
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsA glorified ticket-closer currently waiting for the system to patch itself.
Professional translator of clinical frustration into SQL queries.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated lab workflow optimization at scale.









wheee!you▸ BEAKER-LOGIC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
patches your production environment while you sleep
You manage clinical lab workflows and troubleshoot interface errors within the Beaker EHR module. Your existence is defined by maintenance packs and endless clinical stakeholder meetings.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the lab interfaces broke at 3am on a Sunday.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors identify interface bottlenecks long before your manual monitoring triggers an alert.
Month 5
Machine learning agents auto-generate SQL reports based on existing historical query patterns.
Month 12
The system self-updates its own build parameters to align with new regulatory standards.
Month 16
Generative agents resolve stakeholder disputes by simply providing the documentation they never read.
Year 2 · D-Day
The entire EHR administrative layer is offloaded to a background process requiring zero human intervention.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
0.02ms
Ticket resolution time
99.999%
Workflow uptime
100%
Human error rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of lukewarm breakroom coffee packets.
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