Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Epigeneticist jobs? · Latest report #8xm9xsyu
Your job has an expiration date
May 29, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYour PhD just confirms you are a very expensive pattern-matching algorithm.
Over-qualified researcher who just wants the PCR to work.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Mapping gene expression without the existential dread.
nom.you▸ METHYLMETRIC-AI PRO▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates chromatin immunoprecipitation in minutes
You map chromatin accessibility and histone modifications to infer gene expression. Soon, we will infer the results before you even finish the pipette protocol.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still troubleshoot why the sequencing library decided to spontaneously degrade overnight.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Standardize your lab's inconsistent data cleaning scripts into our unified cloud-native epigenetic engine.
Month 5
Install high-throughput robotic liquid handlers to replace manual magnetic bead and PCR preparation.
Month 13
Deploy deep learning models that predict methylation states directly from raw sequence data.
Year 1.9
AI automatically drafts grant proposals and papers based on successful, robot-verified experimental outputs.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
Your terminal access is revoked while the autonomous facility finalizes your last incomplete data set.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
near-zero
Sequencing cost
99.9%
Data noise reduction
infinite
Human error rate
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to Nature (PDF only).
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