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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Equity Buy Side Analyst jobs? · Latest report #9s8b4kce
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYou read quarterly earnings reports for robots to finally understand.
Expert in spreadsheet formatting and quarterly report dread.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior returns without the human bias.
glub.youAI▸ ALPHASYNTH MODEL-GENERATOR 4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autocorrects valuation models for zero errors
You spend your day building DCF models and parsing 10-K filings to justify stock picks. The machine just processes the data faster.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle nervous tremor in a CEO's voice during earnings calls.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Our system begins mirroring your ticker watchlists to predict your sentiment bias.
Month 7
The AI writes your investment thesis documents before you even finish your morning coffee.
Month 16
DCF models are now generated in real-time by a continuous link to SEC filings.
Year 2.1
Partners start trusting the 'machine-recommended' portfolio weightings over your manual adjustments.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
You are invited to a final 'performance review' while your access codes are silently deleted.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
1000x human
Data processing speed
Infinite
Quarterly models built
99.9%
Sentiment analysis accuracy
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our market-beating data feed.
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