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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Equity Capital Markets Associate jobs? · Latest report #nn5zdt8a
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYour pitch decks are just glorified slideshows for bored investors.
Master of Excel, slayer of sleep, lover of pitch-books.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating IPO documentation at light speed.
glub.youAI▸ CAPITALFLOW V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates pitch book formatting in milliseconds
You draft prospectuses and pitch books for equity offerings. You spend your nights updating comps in Excel spreadsheets.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room when the client is clearly lying.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI starts syncing your Bloomberg data directly into blank templates.
Month 4
Neural networks begin writing your S-1 filings and prospectuses.
Month 8
Machine vision verifies all your formatting and table alignment.
Month 13
Bots simulate investor demand and book building without you.
Month 18 · D-Day
The system finishes the deal before you even wake up.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
40 cups
Coffee consumption per deal
Subjective
Accuracy of valuation models
High
Formatting error rate
Your severance
A LinkedIn premium account and a thank you card.
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