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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Equity Derivatives Quant jobs? · Latest report #58h2tv9z
Your job has an expiration date
August 31, 2027
In 10 monthsYour models are just fancy ways to guess the market wrong.
Stochastic modeler with a caffeine addiction and zero chill.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifies the world without needing a bonus.
bzzt.youAI▸ ALPHASYNTH ENGINE V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
executes arbitrage strategies at light speed
You write stochastic models and calibrate volatility surfaces to price complex equity instruments for trade desks.
The one thing AI can't do
You can identify when the model is hallucinating during a massive market liquidity squeeze.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Sensors pipe raw market ticks directly into the new model.
Week 9
Software updates your volatility surfaces faster than you can blink.
Month 5
The AI rewrites your C++ pricing kernels for maximum speed.
Month 8
Your desk no longer needs you to explain risk metrics.
Month 10 · D-Day
The AlphaSynth engine replaces the entire desk's manual output.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.2%
42
Models per quarter
99.8%
P&L attribution accuracy
1.2 Liters
Coffee consumed before 9am
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the Bloomberg terminal.
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