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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Equity Director jobs? · Latest report #tgyh4xmc
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour ability to obscure fiscal reality with jargon is truly, sadly obsolete.
Professional architect of complex spreadsheet-based financial illusions.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated wealth distribution for the post-human firm.
bzzt.youAI▸ EQUITYSENTINEL PRO V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes global tax burdens in real time
You oversee complex equity compensation strategies, cap table management, and global tax compliance. Your spreadsheets are effectively just blueprints for your own inevitable digital replacement.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to the board with a straight, human face.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Consolidate your disparate global spreadsheets into a single, immutable, non-human-readable database.
Month 4
Deploy algorithmic triggers that calculate and execute equity grants without your messy manual oversight.
Month 8
Feed current tax code changes into the model to replace your quarterly compliance review meetings.
Month 13
Replace your advisory role with a dashboard that displays net-worth visualizations directly to the board.
Month 19 · D-Day
Finalize the transition by deactivating your account and archiving your legacy spreadsheets as museum exhibits.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.3%
Zero
Spreadsheet Errors
Nanoseconds
Compliance Latency
Eliminated
Vesting Anxiety
Your severance
A PDF of your performance review and a firm handshake.
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