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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace ESG Consultant jobs? · Latest report #wchsjxp4
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsTurning your vague climate promises into a CSV of pure nothingness.
Professional translator of corporate guilt into spreadsheet cells.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated compliance for a warming planet.
split.youAI▸ GREENWASH-GPT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates plausible sustainability roadmaps in milliseconds
You draft sustainability reports and audit corporate carbon footprints. You spend your life explaining why the office printer's energy efficiency doesn't offset the CEO's private jet.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a client about carbon neutrality with a straight face.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Scrapers ingest your fragmented supply chain data to identify carbon output patterns without asking managers.
Month 5
Generative models produce compliant sustainability reports that mimic your specific corporate tone and font preferences.
Month 11
Logic engines run thousands of decarbonization scenarios faster than you can open a new slide deck.
Month 16
API bridges connect directly to regulatory databases, eliminating your role as a human go-between.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked and replaced by an automated sustainability monitoring dashboard that never requires coffee.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
42
Buzzwords per slide
89%
Hours spent in PowerPoint
Zero
Net zero credibility
Your severance
A recycled paper bag and a pat on the back.
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