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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace ESG Data Manager jobs? · Latest report #sbsr5s7d
Your job has an expiration date
November 6, 2027
In 13 monthsTurning corporate virtue signaling into a series of predictable, automated database queries.
Professional slide-deck beautifier and spreadsheet enthusiast.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Transparency so automated it hurts.
wheee!you▸ AUDITLOGIC V9.4▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 13 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates perfect net-zero reports in milliseconds
You aggregate carbon footprints and social metrics into glossy slide decks. Your job is basically a spreadsheet that learned to talk to stakeholders.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a stakeholder with a straight face during a difficult meeting.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Custom scripts replace your manual copying of data from vendor spreadsheets into the master file.
Month 4
An AI agent automatically tags raw data points to Global Reporting Initiative taxonomies without your input.
Month 6
Large language models draft your executive summaries by pulling directly from verified data sources.
Month 9
Automated slide generation tools populate your presentation templates with real-time, verified sustainability metrics.
Month 13 · D-Day
A single API call replaces your entire role by providing stakeholders direct, real-time dashboard access.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.1%
42
Spreadsheet errors per quarter
1800
Hours spent in Zoom
99%
Bullshit buzzword density
Your severance
A one-year subscription to carbon credit trading platform.
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