Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace ETL Developer jobs? · Latest report #apy2dq6g
Your job has an expiration date
December 17, 2027
In 14 monthsMoving rows from A to B until the server finally dies.
Professional breaker of production databases since 2018.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated ingestion for the modern data stack.
squeeze.youAI▸ DATAPIPELINE PRO V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
refactors your broken legacy scripts automatically
You spend all day writing scripts to move raw data into clean formats for company dashboards.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find that one missing null value in a million-row CSV dump.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI models scan your existing mappings to identify patterns.
Month 3
Smart agents handle schema changes without human intervention.
Month 6
Large language models write your complex joins in milliseconds.
Month 9
Sensors identify data quality issues before they reach reports.
Month 14 · D-Day
The server automatically retires your login credentials forever.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97%
3 cups
Coffee consumed per commit
11 daily
Pipeline breaks before lunch
4 billion
Rows cleaned manually
Your severance
A one-year subscription to a cloud storage service.
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