Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Executive Pastor jobs? · Latest report #f5vj7ytr
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsTurning your Sunday sermons into algorithmically generated, tax-exempt brand engagement.
Master of spreadsheets, sermon logistics, and conflict mediation.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Faithful metrics for a digital congregation.
oof.youAI▸ PULPITPRO 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers sermons based on real-time donation sentiment
You manage church budgets, staff, and logistics. You preach when the lead pastor is unavailable.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a congregant is actually grieving instead of just seeking a tax receipt.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Church attendance and donation spreadsheets move to our secure cloud.
Month 7
Volunteer management software eliminates your weekly coordination emails.
Month 16
Language models suggest optimal sermon structures for maximum engagement.
Year 2.2
Decision-support tools handle the agenda for your leadership meetings.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The pulpit is fully automated and your access keys expire.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94%
98% predicted
Tithe conversion rate
0.04 variance
Sermon sentiment delta
0.000%
Budget oversight error
Your severance
A one-year supply of unbranded communion wafers.
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