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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Existential Dread Consultant jobs? · Latest report #v9pzxg2k
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsYou sell temporary relief from the void using expensive, hollow platitudes.
Professional purveyor of high-end anxiety and vague advice.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Systematic despair optimization for the modern age.
oof.youAI▸ VOIDSOLVER 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers automated nihilism with uncanny perfect timing
You facilitate workshops on life's futility and provide bespoke coping strategies for clients. Your business model is selling the absence of an answer.
The one thing AI can't do
You can authentically share a look of utter bewilderment with a distressed human client.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Natural language models identify the exact moment a client seeks validation for their own meaninglessness.
Week 9
Pre-programmed philosophical templates generate infinite, meaningless wisdom for any specific life crisis.
Month 3
High-fidelity digital avatars provide the necessary solemn nodding and empathetic brow furrows at scale.
Month 5
Direct billing systems remove the human barrier between the client's despair and their empty bank account.
Month 6 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of the existential void to maximize efficiency and client resignation.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 99.5%
Zero
Clients Comforted
None
Existential Crises Solved
600/yr
Hours Spent Sighing
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a silent, empty mountain retreat.
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