Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Faculty Head jobs? · Latest report #hfs94wzs
Your job has an expiration date
March 16, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsEnjoy your final years of pretending those committee meetings matter.
Professional cat-herder of PhDs and ego-driven researchers.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing institutional output without the pesky tenure.
stretchy.youAI▸ ACADEMIASYNC V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates faculty tenure review board decisions
Managing academic staff, handling budget allocations, and navigating endless department bureaucracy. You mediate faculty squabbles until retirement.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who knows which faculty members are actually hiding in their offices.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Smart software takes over your scheduling and meeting invitations.
Month 10
Algorithms handle all department spending and grant tracking automatically.
Month 20
Sentiment analysis engines resolve all student and faculty grievances.
Year 2.5
Remote sensors track productivity instead of manual human reviews.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
The department is managed entirely by a single server rack.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
2,400 per year
Hours in pointless meetings
18 per week
Faculty complaints filed
0.02 percent
Budget variance tolerance
Your severance
A PDF copy of your own personnel file.
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