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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Family Office Investor jobs? · Latest report #yc6hutha
Your job has an expiration date
December 11, 2027
In 14 monthsCapital allocation is just math, and you are far too sentimental.
Capital allocator with a penchant for expensive bespoke suits.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior returns without the expensive lunch meetings.
glub.youAI▸ WEALTHOPTIMIZER V4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes capital allocation at nanosecond speeds
You parse complex private equity documents and manage generational wealth allocation. Your days involve constant risk assessment and meeting with fund managers to justify high management fees.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform the performative smile required to close a multi-generational legacy deal.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Natural language processing will ingest your memos to identify consistent bias and return patterns.
Month 4
Vision-guided data agents will scrape and audit private asset records faster than you read.
Month 8
Algorithms will monitor and appease family members through predictive feedback loops and virtual diplomacy.
Month 12
Smart contracts and automated trade gateways remove the need for your manual execution oversight.
Month 14 · D-Day
Your access to the terminal is revoked and the API takes full control of portfolio.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.3%
200 USD
Average lunch cost
6
Coffee breaks daily
0 percent
Portfolio drift tolerance
Your severance
A one-year subscription to Bloomberg Terminal and shame.
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