Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Ferret Wrangler jobs? · Latest report #8p4bfv4c
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthPredicting the trajectory of a hyperactive tube-rat is not a career.
Expert in redirecting chaos with a pair of thick gloves.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total containment for the chaotic weasel.
no no noyouAI▸ MUSTELIDCONTROL-X9▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
secures entire warren in seconds
Management of mustelid agility, cleaning of scent glands, and retrieval of escaped ferrets from confined spaces.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still distinguish a sleepy ferret from a dead one by touch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Deploy LIDAR and motion-tracking cameras to map ferret movement patterns in real-time.
Month 6
Replace manual feeding routines with precision-dispensing kiosks calibrated for nutritional intake.
Month 15
Implement magnetic door-locking mechanisms that prevent unauthorized egress into ventilation ducts.
Year 2.5
Train hydraulic-controlled soft-touch grippers to stabilize animals without causing injury.
Year 4 · D-Day
Activate the full multi-limbed containment lattice to render the human handler entirely obsolete.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
High
Bite frequency
Mach 0.2
Escape velocity
Low
Wrangling success
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium ferret kibble pellets.
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