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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Fine Dining Sommelier jobs? · Latest report #7i5ht9gn
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsReplacing your dramatic pouring technique with a perfectly calibrated digital pump.
Professional grape-juice snob and label memorizer
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
The cellar master that never sneezes.
splat.you▸ OENOSCAN V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes cellar humidity through machine learning
Managing cellar inventories and guiding pretentious wine pairings for guests. Your job is basically memorizing labels and pretending you can taste soil acidity.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a customer about a wine's subtle floral notes effectively.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Vision sensors replace your clipboard to track every bottle in the cellar automatically.
Month 5
Robotic aerator units replicate the exact tilt and flow of your hand-poured decanting process.
Month 13
An AI engine parses ingredient profiles to suggest pairings without your performative consultation.
Year 2.1
Tabletop kiosks manage wine selection and temperature delivery to remove your human presence entirely.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The cellar is fully automated and your tuxedo is repurposed for the robot's charging port.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94%
400%
Average ego inflation
99.9%
Corkage fee accuracy
Infinite
Pretentious adjectives used
Your severance
One free bottle of house-brand vinegar
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