Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Fixed Income Analyst jobs? · Latest report #6ijsixsv
Your job has an expiration date
September 2, 2028
In 1 year, 10 monthsYour spreadsheets have feelings, but our algorithm has better entry points.
Portfolio builder of junk bonds and expensive coffee.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The only analyst that never naps.
bzzt.youAI▸ YIELDMASTER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates low-quality positions before you open bloomberg
You interpret yield spreads and credit risk to pitch bonds. We just run a model on your desk.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to an angry PM why a high-yield issuer just tanked.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our software pulls your proprietary credit data into its database.
Month 5
The AI learns to mimic your exact valuation spreadsheet logic.
Month 12
Generative models produce your investment memos with zero errors.
Month 16
Sensors alert the system to credit events before you wake.
Month 22 · D-Day
The system executes trades automatically while you clear your desk.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.2%
Instant
Spread interpretation speed
120 gallons
Coffee consumed per quarter
3 percent
Models built that actually worked
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a premium stock screener.
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