Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Floor Manager jobs? · Latest report #j6tx2j8n
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsProfessional babysitter for teenagers who would rather be on TikTok.
Professional aisle-walker and register-unlocking technician.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Management without the coffee addiction.
help!youAI▸ STOREGUARDIAN 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
de-escalates angry customers with zero effort
You pace the aisles checking inventory and dealing with Karens. You unlock the registers when they inevitably jam.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense a shoplifter's heartbeat from three aisles away without a sensor grid.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Camera vision replaces your walk-through of the sales floor.
Month 10
Staff scheduling shifts to an algorithm that ignores your requests.
Month 20
Smart terminals self-reset without requiring your store key.
Year 2.5
Sensors identify shoplifters faster than your suspicious stare.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The store runs autonomously while you find a new career.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
42
Seconds until a customer asks for help
12 weekly
Registers jammed by human error
90 percent
Time spent checking staff schedules
Your severance
A lifetime discount on damaged clearance items.
Discussion
