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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Foot and Paw Massager jobs? · Latest report #x9vpaf5p
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthYour manual kneading technique is being outperformed by a vibrating plastic bowl.
Professional knot-untangler, expert in canine and human anatomy.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Systematic relief for every appendage.
squeeze.you▸ KNEADMASTER 3000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers precise haptic pulses indefinitely
You apply pressure to muscle tissue to alleviate tension in clients and their pets.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly how much pressure a knot requires without a calibration sensor.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Sensors identify muscle tension points and trigger specific vibration patterns.
Month 8
Self-cleaning surfaces replace the need for constant towel changes.
Month 21
Adaptive feedback loops adjust intensity based on client response.
Year 3.1
Massage pods become standard furniture in every living room.
Year 4 · D-Day
Human hands are officially deemed inconsistent and unnecessarily expensive.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.7%
99.9 percent
Average pressure consistency
Unlimited
Clients per hour
High
Human finger fatigue rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium massage oil.
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