Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Foundation Coordinator jobs? · Latest report #j9zpumcu
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour thank-you notes are just data entry with better stationery.
Steward of donor feelings and spreadsheet gatekeeper.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Donor relations without the awkward small talk.
oof.you▸ ALUMLINK AUTOMATOR 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends personalized endowment updates while you sleep
You manage scholarship donor databases and coordinate gala logistics. Your job is basically a spreadsheet with a cocktail party.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a major donor is about to say no.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
An AI agent syncs your donor list to a live dashboard.
Month 4
Smart templates replace your manual thank-you note process entirely.
Month 8
Algorithms handle all banquet seating and vendor communications automatically.
Month 13
Bots reconcile scholarship balances without human accountancy oversight.
Month 19 · D-Day
The foundation runs its own donor relations without your help.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4 cups/day
Coffee consumed while drafting thank-yous
12,000
Donor emails automated per hour
Zero
Events crashed by actual humans
Your severance
A LinkedIn badge that says 'Open to Networking'.
Discussion
