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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace French Polisher jobs? · Latest report #apzq7fcr
Your job has an expiration date
October 27, 2029
In 3 yearsEnjoy your final years of breathing in shellac and wood dust.
Dust-covered artisan with a very specific chemical smell.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect patina in every single cycle.
shred.you▸ GRAINGUARD INDUSTRIAL 5▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
burnishes antique surfaces with robotic precision
Hand-applies delicate shellac finishes to antique furniture using traditional rags and abrasive pumice stones.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle temperature change in wood grain just by touch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Cameras scan the exact surface topography of every antique piece.
Month 7
Robotic arms apply precise grit pressure to every wooden surface.
Month 16
Industrial vats meter shellac flow into high-speed applicator pads.
Year 2.2
Climate-controlled chambers eliminate humidity-related finish blooming issues.
Year 3 · D-Day
The factory floor transitions entirely to automated shellac application.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
Forty
Hours per cabinet
High
Shellac sensitivity
Too much
Average dust intake
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium linseed oil.
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