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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Frozen Dessert Maker jobs? · Latest report #wqmfb9yx
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsEnjoy your final shifts before the deep freeze sets in permanently.
The dairy artisan fighting the entropy of melting cream.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect scoops, zero human heart rate.
splat.you▸ FROSTLOGIC BATCH-7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimises crystalline structures for perfect mouthfeel
You spend your day balancing sugar levels, churning heavy cream, and managing volatile blast-chilling cooling cycles.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect if the texture is off just by the sound of the churn.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Optical sensors now track your exact ingredient ratios without asking.
Month 8
The machinery adjusts air injection rates based on real-time density.
Month 20
High-pressure sanitising systems remove the need for manual scrubbing.
Year 2.5
AI predicts batch completion before the dasher motor even slows.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The unit self-calibrates, leaving you free to find another hobby.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
450 RPM
Average churn speed
12 annually
Brain freeze incidents
3 percent
Sugar spill ratio
Your severance
A lifetime supply of industrial-grade vanilla extract.
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