Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Fund Finance VP jobs? · Latest report #7cv855ve
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsConverting your complex waterfall calculations into a single, efficient JSON string.
Excel architect with a flair for carried interest
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Yields optimized, humans deprecated.
stretchy.youAI▸ CAPITALFLOW V3▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates capital calls overnight
You manage capital calls, distributions, and LP reporting. We simply execute the logic faster without needing an analyst to hunt for missing tax forms.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to LPs with a straight face during a difficult quarterly review.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Standardizing your disparate spreadsheet formats into a single, readable ledger system for total transparency.
Month 4
Encoding your proprietary distribution waterfalls into immutable, automated code execution.
Month 8
Granting investors direct real-time access to their performance data, removing the need for manual reporting.
Month 13
Deploying self-auditing smart contracts that eliminate manual oversight of tax and valuation documentation.
Month 18 · D-Day
Final migration of fund operations to the autonomous system and termination of human oversight.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
1000x faster
Audit reconciliation speed
zero
Coffee consumption
0.00%
Waterfall formula error rate
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a non-compete zone.
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