Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Funeral Director and Mortician jobs? · Latest report #ky2w9tew
Your job has an expiration date
October 20, 2034
In 8 yearsDeath is the only industry with better retention rates than us.
Professional curator of the final goodbye.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Dignified endings, zero human intervention.
pop?you▸ FINALEASE MORTUARY UNIT 9▸ RARITY · EPIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 8 YEARSAI's Special Power
restores color to pallid skin with light
You prepare bodies for viewing and manage the logistics of bereavement. It is mostly paperwork and grim aesthetics.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read a grieving room and know when to stay silent.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Smart software completes death certificates faster than a human clerk.
Month 13
Fleet software coordinates body transport without human scheduling errors.
Year 3.3
Automated systems handle routine embalming tasks in clean room cells.
Year 6
Cameras calibrate skin tone matching for perfect restorative art.
Year 8 · D-Day
FinalEase units handle the entire process from pickup to service.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92.7%
45 minutes
Average embalming time
12,000
Obituary templates generated
infinity
Awkward family silence count
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a permanent retirement community.
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