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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Funeral Florist jobs? · Latest report #d82zr6ii
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsFloral arrangements for the dead are the ultimate low-churn subscription model.
Sympathy specialist managing the lifecycle of cut lilies.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect petals for every final goodbye.
bzzt.you▸ BLOOMBOT MORTUARY SUITE V.4▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
constructs bespoke wreaths in twelve minutes
You design casket sprays, standing wreaths, and sympathy bouquets under immense time pressure. You manage highly specific floral symbolism for grieving families.
The one thing AI can't do
You alone know exactly which flower wilts fastest in a drafty chapel.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors identify stem lengths and bloom status to optimize usage rates.
Month 6
Vision-guided pincers assemble standard sympathy arrangements from digital templates.
Month 16
AI predicts regional death spikes to adjust floral stock levels accordingly.
Year 2.5
Interactive screens guide families through grief-calibrated floral selection paths.
Year 4 · D-Day
Integrated robotics handle all floral assembly and on-site delivery autonomously.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
7 days
Average arrangement lifespan
400%
Emergency red rose demand
12%
Human error rate
Your severance
One complimentary bouquet for your own retirement party.
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