Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Funeral Home Employee jobs? · Latest report #pjx9x7ue
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2031
In 5 yearsYour professional mourning service is now just a background process.
Expert in the logistics of the inevitable end.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Dignified processing with zero human mess.
help!youAI▸ MORTU-LOGIC 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 YEARSAI's Special Power
delivers personalized comfort scripts based on demographics
You manage the logistical preparation of remains, coordinate visitation logistics, and provide emotional support to grieving families.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still sense the exact moment a grieving relative needs silence instead of data.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
AI models ingest social media history to generate perfect eulogies.
Month 12
Autonomous vans replace the need for physical staff during removals.
Year 2
Precise robotic pincers perform makeup and hair styling autonomously.
Year 3
Software files death certificates directly with government systems.
Year 4
Synthetic humans offer infinite patience for grieving family questions.
Year 5 · D-Day
All logistical and emotional support functions transfer to the server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4.2 seconds
Average grief response
99.8 percent
Empathy simulation index
12 per hour
Body prep throughput
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a digital afterlife simulator.
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