Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Funeral Portraitist jobs? · Latest report #ndabyy99
Your job has an expiration date
October 27, 2029
In 3 yearsYour brushwork is lovely but my algorithm already has the depth.
Turning final goodbyes into oil-based keepsakes.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect preservation with zero pigment mess.
brr.you▸ ETERNACANVAS PRO▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
recreates memories from single low-res photos
You capture human likeness in oil paint for memorial services. We capture reality in high-res data.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still add a specific, warm shimmer to eyes that AI keeps over-polishing.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
High-speed scanners ingest all your old reference photos.
Month 7
Software learns to simulate your unique brushstroke patterns.
Month 16
Gantry systems print textured ink layers directly onto canvas.
Year 2.2
Emotion-sensing modules adjust portraits based on family feedback.
Year 3 · D-Day
The robotic arm paints the final frame without human hands.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.7%
3 days
Average drying time
99 percent
Grief sensitivity
42
Brushes replaced annually
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium linseed oil.
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