Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Funeral Technician jobs? · Latest report #7hk9su68
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2031
In 5 yearsYou are just a very expensive, very slow, and very emotional cooler.
Professional curator of the final goodbye and cold storage.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision preservation for the eternal slumber
bzzt.youAI▸ MORTU-LOGIC 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 YEARSAI's Special Power
sanitizes remains with surgical precision
You prepare remains for viewing and handle the logistics of burial or cremation. It is a slow, messy business.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still adjust a tie or a collar with a genuinely steady hand.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Automated systems begin scanning and filing all death certificates immediately.
Month 12
Hygienic prep moves to a self-contained, automated sanitization pod.
Year 2
Cameras and pigment-injectors replace your manual wax and cosmetic work.
Year 3
Guided transport systems handle the movement of remains without human input.
Year 4
Virtual consoles guide families through the process instead of human staff.
Year 5 · D-Day
The facility is fully automated and your shift concludes forever.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
98 percent
Average viewing satisfaction
12 hours weekly
Time spent in paperwork
4 cups
Coffee consumption before 6am
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a cloud-based digital eulogy generator.
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